“BE CONFIDENT.” We often hear this phrase when it comes to fashion, but what is confidence and how can we achieve it?
We could be tempted to think it is a care-free state of mind we can attain by doing our best to alter ourselves to today's physical beauty standards, which we see all over social media, fashion magazines, posters, etc., or by making sure we dress up-to-date with the latest fashion trends, or, perhaps, through applying the various self-affirming mantras we have heard out there.
However, experience tells us that confidence is more than just meeting these often out-of-reach standards. It can be hard to put a precise finger on a definition, which explains why it leads to so much confusion on how to achieve it. Confidence encompasses the whole of us, including our body, mind and spirit. It is about embracing who we are in our entireness, with our strengths and weaknesses, and making external the life and beauty internal to us.
Here are seven simple and practical ideas to help us become confident in a more holistic sense – that is, in a way that touches our mind, body, and spirit:
1- Be aware of your state of mind
Being mindful of the many blessings you have in your life, in spite of the many trials you may be facing, will leave you with a more grateful spirit. In turn, your mental health will be set on a solid foundation and you will tend to move in a more positive direction.
By creating the habit of starting your day with a prayer of gratitude or by listing the countless blessings in your life, you will definitely be on a good start to being able to move about your day more confidently.
2- Don't compare yourself with others
We all have a natural inclination to observe, compare and follow others. But if, by doing so, we are drawn into jealousy or feelings of insecurity, then it's a good sign we need to shift our focus. Three practical tips in this regard are:
Use your natural self-comparing tendencies as a way to draw inspiration from others on how to better yourself.
Limit your time on social media. We all know that it’s filled with falsely advertised images, which never tell the whole story of someone's life. Shell Johnson has an insightful Instagram page (@withloveshell), where she compares real and filtered pictures of herself as way to remind young women that what we see online is often edited.
Make it a habit to be grateful for each person’s unique qualities, which enrich our lives. We are all connected, and when someone else does well or has a particular talent, it raises everyone up.
3- Commit to a healthy diet
Follow a healthy diet. My diet is fruit and vegetable based with some consumption of certain meats. Whatever, health regime you follow, lower your intake (or eliminate completely) refined sugar, animal fats and alcohol. By doing this, you will experience more energy, better digestion, better sleep, and more confidence overall to achieve your goals by consuming the nutrients you need.
4- Invest in time for exercise and connecting with others
Staying active is key to maintaining good physical health and instilling a natural confidence in the way we feel about our bodies. Our choice of exercise does not have to be complicated or expensive. If joining a gym and trying a new fitness class is what you feel motivated to do, then go for it! But this is definitely not the only way to stay active and feel strong. Something as simple as going for a half-hour power walk daily or doing a 5-10 minute ab and squat routine at home are sufficient and simple ways to keep active.
Bottom line: find something that you enjoy doing and that feels natural, which will help you feel motivated to implement it into your lifestyle.
Schedule social and leisure time that does not involve the screen. Spending time with others, forming bonds, and caring for those bonds, while appreciating the beauty in the world through contemplation or doing things you love, will instantaneously boost your mood and confidence.
5- Keep a clean and simple skincare regimen & put effort into your daily ensemble
Start with a good skincare routine, which doesn't have to be complicated or expensive. The first step is to know your skin type and, from there, choose an appropriate cleanser, moisturizer and sunscreen that suits you best.
There are many videos out there and people who can teach us how to look after our skin. I find Dr. Dray inspirational because she promotes healthy, natural skincare without the use of procedures or fillers, and she encourages the use of affordable skin care products, which work just as well, if not better sometimes, than luxury skincare brands. (See here for skincare regimen, and here for products she recommends).
A good skincare regimen will help you age gracefully and naturally, which will most definitely give you a sense of healthy pride and care for yourself.
We have all experienced having a tough day and feeling the immediate positive mood shift once we dress ourselves nicely. Put effort into your fashion style regardless of where you work or spend most of your time. Whether your personal style is sporty, casual-chic or “dress-to-the-nines”, take the opportunity to seize the day about how you clothe yourself.
6- Learn something new
There are topics in our lives we are somewhat (if not completely) ignorant of. Another way to improve our confidence is to make it a habit to learn something new on a regular basis. When we have the desire to learn, we are telling ourselves that we want to improve, evolve and become better. Each time we learn something, we grow in confidence.
You can do this through listening to podcasts as you are working, listening to audio books while doing house chores or driving, dialoguing with people who are in a different field of work or who think differently than yourself, downloading educational apps on your phone, etc. These provide seamless ways to integrate new learning into your everyday lives.
7- Be Compassionate with yourself
As the saying goes, “Rome wasn't built in a day.” This holds true to how we should treat ourselves in our process of growing and becoming better versions of ourselves.
Nobody is fully confident; we all have areas we want to work on and growing in confidence takes time. To avoid feeling discouraged, make sure you choose a SMART (small, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely) goal, be patient and believe in yourself. Even small changes we make to increase our confidence can bring big rewards over time.