Empowering Elegance: Celebrating the Beauty of Mothers

We frequently encounter phrases like "frumpy mom," "mom-wear", "looks good for a mom,"

" Moms not in her prime", etc , but why should we, as mothers, adopt these labels?

It's true that motherhood naturally redirects our attention to our children, but this amazing life transition doesn't mean we have to neglect our outward appearance.

Some women mention that they would like to put effort, but they feel that there isn't enough time in a day for them to do so. Others say it no longer holds importance as they are now married, so it doesn't matter as much anymore. What if you were told that maintaining your appearance is even more important now as a married woman with children than it was when you were single?

We've all heard that women should do their part in keeping the romance alive in their marriage by taking care of themselves, and although this is definitely true, the significance of how a mother is intentional in the way she dresses also has an impact on her children, which is a topic rarely discussed.

Mothers are genuinely cherished by their children from the moment of conception. When their children are young, daughters hold their mothers in high regard, while sons naturally and innocently seek their mothers' attention as little men trying to woe his preferred lady of interest. However, as children mature, their mothers no longer remain the focal point of their world, and they frequently turn to the outside world for inspiration and influence. In the following paragraphs, you will discover the reasons why taking care of yourself is essential, and how you can still have a significant impact on your children as they grow.

  Most young girls learn about their femininity primarily from their mothers. They enjoy imitating the way their mother dresses, speaks, and behaves.

However, as they enter their pre-teen years, they often become influenced by the beauty standards from outside the home. Pre-teen girls start comparing themselves to other females (whether their peers or older), seeking inspiration from the latest fashion magazines for styling trends, and watching popular TV shows and films to understand what defines a 'cool girl'.

At this stage, many mothers hardly recognize their daughters anymore, and although this is a normal transition, moms often worry that they will completely lose their daughter(s) to opposite values. How can we, as moms, encourage our daughters' freedom as they independently navigate their journey of self-discovery?

My daughters are still quite young, but upon reflecting on own life as a young girl, I believe mothers need to be truly present by ensuring that communication channels are always open with their children. It's important to remember that our pre-teens and teenagers often prefer talking to their peers due to age relatability. Therefore, when we engage in conversations with our children, showing compassion and reducing critical comments on what they share with us will help them feel comfortable rather than judged. This approach will encourage them to keep being open with us. 

Speaking from experience, and am often guilty of doing this, I find it's important to resist the urge to overshare our personal life experiences! This often occurs when we believe that sharing our experiences will automatically prevent our kids from making the same mistakes. What I've learnt over the years with raising my son, is that it's important to remember that at this stage, our children want to feel heard and respected while exercising their own free will. Excessive personal story-sharing is often seen as lecturing. Although well-intentioned and helpful during certain circumstances, we should definitely avoid this if we want to be a gentle guiding influence without being forceful or imposing.

What about our physical beauty as mothers? How does dressing ourselves with elegance affect our daughters? I truly believe, that when we make it a habit to dress classy, it's not vanity but rather leaves a true impact on our daughters' lives, influencing how much they embrace or deviate from the values we aim to instill. Every little girl wants to feel beautiful and will seek inspiration. Thus, if her mother takes care of her own appearance, she can continue to shape her daughter's understanding of true elegant beauty.

 By beginning our days with dressing well, neatly brushing our hair, having a fresh face with minimal makeup, and wearing elegant attire that pleases us, we can inspire our daughters to follow our example and adopt the values we wish to instill in them. 

One approach to reducing the likelihood of our daughters adopting the belief that women are most attractive when they dress provocatively is by staying in shape. Maintaining a consistent exercise regimen and following a nutritious diet allows moms to feel confident and enjoy dressing elegantly.

How does this relate to our sons? Are they truly influenced by their mother's attire?

Based on my experience, the answer is yes, but it affects them differently than it does our daughter(s).

As a boy matures, it's natural for him to begin observing women in a sexual way. From childhood onwards, it's crucial for parents to engage in continuous discussions to teach them not to objectify women. These conversations should occur at every stage of their development, ensuring that the language and ideas are suitable for their age.

Subjects like the significance of avoiding pornography and its consequences, understanding what it means to be a genuine gentleman, dating in line with our values, and the qualities to seek in a future wife are just a few of the meaningful discussions to have with our sons.

However, the manner in which we mothers present ourselves physically is also crucial for them to observe, as it can influence the type of women they will choose to marry in the future. My son isn't yet married but I can clearly see the effect the way I dress has on him by the choice of women he is interested in.

If our sons see their moms maintaining their beauty in an elegant way, they will likely appreciate our classy style and use it as a benchmark for their own dating preferences. 

As mothers, dressing in a way that is modest yet appealing allows us to demonstrate that being sexually attractive doesn't require revealing our bodies to everyone. Additionally, we set an example for our sons, showing them that they don't need to adopt the world's view that provocatively dressed women are more desirable. They will witness us taking a healthy pride in self-care, confident, playful, and adventurous in our self-expression through our fashion choices.

Ultimately, prioritizing our appearance as mothers is not an act of self-centeredness or vanity. Instead, it is essential for conveying our desired values to our family and society. By presenting ourselves modestly, confidently, and beautifully, we project a healthy image that offers an alternative perspective on how women can be seen and valued.

" My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.” - George Washington