When one sees a woman dressed in a provocative way, one might think anything from,
I can't believe she is putting her body on display for all to see!"
“She looks amazing; I wish I looked like her."
"I think she is beautiful, but I wish she would cover up more as I don't want my boyfriend/husband to ‘fall for her’."
"She's a great person with so many qualities, that I wish she would let that shine forth.”
If not all, surely at least one of these thoughts has come to mind at some time or other...
It is natural for a woman to want to be deeply desired and admired. In fact, it has been a part of our DNA since the beginning of time. How can we channel our natural desires in a way that would lead others to see and acknowledge us for our true and unique value?
The first thing to consider is that covering our bodies in a fitting way dignifies us. Everyone agrees that it is unpleasant when someone around us is immodest in their words or actions: boasting and arrogance, for example, displease greatly. The same can happen with the way we present ourselves physically through the way we dress.
When we are in public, we gather information about each other through first impressions. Although superficial, there are judgements and assessments we make about each other instantly. The way we dress ourselves can either leave us vulnerable or help us gain a sense of protection.
The concepts of modesty, purity, humility, and decency are not at all encouraged in our modern Western society. Quite the opposite: they carry a strong negative connotation. People usually react to this in one of two ways. The most common response is to embrace the provocative societal standard, and the less common, but equally unfortunate, is to not give any attention at all towards outward appearance. Neither of these reactions help us to embrace and communicate who we truly are.
We can be both humble and confident while simultaneously choosing to dress ourselves beautifully, not only for ourselves but also for others to witness. There can be a sincere elegance and artistry to the way one styles oneself, which can be fun to explore. A simple way to do this is to look online for images of women dressed in chic styles that we like, find similar pieces in stores, try them on, and discover what best suits us. To embrace our bodies with authentic value and share with the world the real beauty of who we truly are, we need to emphasize our entire selves. We can do this by being intentional about our fashion style, which lets our personality shine forth.
When I was younger, my mother taught me through her wonderful example that dressing elegantly was the way women uphold their bodies with true esteem. Although this message was clear to me, I was not interested in doing so as I believed that covering up was prudish and boring, and I was getting attention from others that I found gratifying. But after years of living a double life –dressing the way my parents raised me to when I was at home and then switching to provocative fashion when I went out--, my many experiences have led me to shift my mindset completely and have a change of heart. I realized that the way I was choosing to act was not only harming myself but also negatively impacting those around me.
Some questions that can help us become more self-aware in this area are:
"Why am I acting this way? Dressing this way? Talking this way?" Also, by doing so, “What am I trying to achieve?" And more profoundly, "What are my true intentions?"
One way to grow in self-love is by valuing ourselves enough not to expose the more intimate parts of our bodies with others, since this would make us susceptible to mistreatment, ridicule or merely being admired for our physique.
We are priceless and worth much more than our physical bodies. When we truly understand this, we enter into life’s true adventure of growing in self-knowledge, self-confidence and authentic beauty.
"Elegance isn't solely defined by what you wear. It is how you carry yourself, how you speak, what you read." — Carolina Herrera .